Four elements of a good story
Situation sets the context. Task explains your responsibility. Action shows exactly what you did. Result ends the story with a result or conclusion.
If you remove Action, the answer will look like a retelling of the team's work. If you remove the Result, it is difficult for the interviewer to understand the value of your actions.
How to speak more simply
Use short sentences and active verbs: I analysed, I changed, I coordinated, I reduced. It is easier to pronounce and easier to perceive by ear.
Don't try to insert complicated grammar for the sake of impression. A clear sequence of events is more important than rare words.
Workout in 10 minutes
Choose one real-life episode, write down four points and answer them out loud. Then remove the notes and retell the story again.
A good test is the question “What was your role?” after the answer. If you can quickly clarify personal contributions, the story is prepared correctly.